||[05 Apr 2005|08:37pm]
Ok, so I started writing something new. If you like it, I'll keep writing... if not, it gets scrapped. Check it out. Keep in mind: Perspective changes from chapter to chapter. Enjoy, my children.
Chapter 1: Matt Chitteden
I am an invisible man, you see... sure, I have all those nice things like flesh, bone, and blood; and some people even say I have a mind... but I am invisible simply because people refuse to see me. If it matters, my name is Matt Chitteden, but no one has seemed to care before. Damn, where are my graces? It's nice to meet you.
I do my best to just exist, but I have a couple issues:
Issue the first: I'm gay, and no one knows it. I'm not sure when I realised that, it must have been about 6th grade, which was when I met Zach. During my creative writing class, a new student walked in and changed my life. The teacher used the term 'new kid' to describe Zach for the entire rest of the year. Anyway, that day we were working in pairs, but remember : I'm invisible, so I was working alone. Zach, in good natured style, pulled up a chair next to me.
"Hi, I'm Zach Allisein," he said as his hair fell into his face. That happend a lot. Half-Arab, his hair took a curly shape, but his white half kept it uncontrollable. I didn't respond. All the years of isolation had left me inherently distrustful of anyone. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him looking at my paper.
"I'm assuming your name is Matt Chitteden?"
Though he horridly mispronounced it as Chyt-eh-dahn, his voice was still charming. Maybe he was worth trusting.
"Matt Chitteden (Chih-tay-den), nice to meet you."
He sat down; fishing for paper from his backpack. Dread flashed through my mind as I saw the teacher approach.
"New kid, this is the assignment. Chitteden, help him."
She mispronounced my name too, as she slammed the paper to Zach's desk. Zach's complexion reddened suddenly as his eyes met mine. Had I caught him looking? Anyway, that was four years ago, and we have become good friends since.
Issue the second: no one knows I'm gay. My parents couldn't handle it; my friends might drop on me; you know, the people that choose to see me. I just don't think I'm ready for the issues that would arise out of coming out at this moment in time.
Issue the third: I have the crush of the century on Zach Allisein. I don't know how he feels. He's never had a girlfriend, but that's not necessarily an indication. He could have his pick of any girl in the school... he just didn't use that ability. Maybe it was his athletic dedication. He loves soccer, plays for the team, and when he's not playing with the team, we play.
Our free time spent together is clearly his favorite, but he had a lot of fun on the team too. He tried to get me to try out, but I refused. Sure, I was good, if not great, but 'invisible man' would never get to play. Everyone seems to be out to get me. Eventually Zach got part of his way, and I became team manager; which was a shitty job, but it had decent perks: getting out of school for games, some small recognition, and best of all: locker room access... HOT!
Life has become somewhat better in High School. Falling between the societal cracks is a lot easier than in Middle and Elementary. Zach enjoys all the perks of being the amazing soccer star, and I get run-off glory, which was good enough for me. As time passed from the first time we met, he just got hotter and hotter. Sixth grade, he was just skinny, twiggish even. By tenth grade, he was full blown sex-god. He was muscular, but not hulking, skinny, but not tiny; green eyes and brown hair, long legs, and just a good looking face.
Wonderful; once again I've forgotten my graces; you don't even know about me. I stand about 6 feet tall, darkish blond hair, and brown eyes. I'm fairly well built, but I'm scrawny just due to a lack of real athletic participation.
Sometimes life is a gigantic bitch; I dont' know what makes me say that, though. Maybe its my failure with Zach... yes; that's it. At times I've come pretty close, though:
Earlier this year, we both got just a little bit drunk at a party, then we went to his house for the rest of the night. Helping eachother to his room, we both kept tripping, but eventually we made it, falling through his doorway to the ground.
"Damn, that was a nice party," he said, looking at me while laying on his side.
"How would you know? You barely drank."
We both heaved ourselves up off the floor, our lips brushed on the way up. Zach seemed to not notice, and we went to bed. When I woke up the next morning, we were in eachother's arms. I had to convince myself that the whole thing was just a random fluke. I'd just like an answer, its not that hard.
So far, that's the closest that Zach and I had ever gotten physically apart from the furtive and maybe not so furtive glances in the locker room after soccer practices.
Chapter 2: Christine Chitteden
Dear God, my brother is such a fricken dweeb. 16 years old, and never had a girlfriend, and, ugh, he just has some annoying quality. Sometimes I feel sorry for him though... just never got a fair shake in his life. Mom has a saying: It'll be worse in hell... well, maybe this is hell; I know Matt would agree with me.
My boyfriend has been way too distant lately. I'm starting to worry, and I think about why he's so strange toward me lately. Craig is a great guy though. In the 6 months we've been going out, he's become the center of my life.